Note: This post is pretty personal in nature, but I don’t want to segment who I am. While that doesn’t mean I intend to share everything on my blog (and even this is only part), I do know that my experience is not so unique, and it’s a turning point for me. I have experienced so much love and support from family and friends that sharing this seems right. I’ll be back to posting (and more frequently I hope) inspirations, works-in-progress, and new projects, but I appreciate when artists and creatives share a little more of themselves in their blogs, and so I am doing a little of that too.

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Since Ian and I found out we would be having a baby in August, we have experienced a shift in momentum, with everything becoming more future-focused even while we are often swept up in the immediate changes that pregnancy brings. It turns out I am not one of those women who meticulously researches the birthing process or multitudes of parenting techniques (or not yet, at least), and that is probably good since the few plans I did have for this pregnancy have been recently overturned.

For me, being pregnant has also brought about a good deal of life change. Since moving to Columbus, I have worked primarily in the business world, first as an administrative assistant, and then as a communications director and managing editor. And while my last job especially gave me a lot of new experience and allowed me to apply my creativity and background without going directly into teaching as many creatives fresh out of grad school do, I also sacrificed some of the time I once had to devote to being a practicing artist, a teacher at the community level, someone who can set her own schedule and say yes to any exciting opportunity that might come her way. But I still had things I wanted to learn, and it was nice to have a full-time salary and benefits, and for those and other reasons I was happy with where I was.

But when we began talking about having a baby, I thought more about the life I wanted to live, and growing a family was a big part of it, and where my writing and art making fit into my life, and having a demanding full-time career didn’t quite fit into that anymore. So I began making plans. I had been taking some really fun design projects on the side, but found myself having to say no to others because time wouldn’t allow. I wanted a more fluid life that allowed for caring for a new baby, for writing on a regular basis, for making things, for interacting with people in my community. I started making lists and notes, and I did research online, and I talked about business ideas with like-minded friends. And my belly grew too, and I learned to be more present and aware of my body and the many little changes, the little popcorn flutters that have now become very apparent kicks and shifts, and I could see it all as part of a bigger pattern and the future felt full (sometimes I was surprised to remember a little life I could hold in my arms would come of this!).

And then I came home one night after tea with a friend and my body was telling me something wasn’t right. I went to the hospital and was reassured that my baby was healthy, but my low-lying placenta (later upgraded to marginal previa) was causing some bleeding that put me at risk. And a week later it caused a great deal more, and I went back to the hospital and was admitted. And two weeks later I am still here in the High Risk OB Unit and the future still feels full, but the days are much more uncertain, and a plan is something not to be determined at this time.

Because of my indefinite hospitalization and bedrest, I lost my job, which was frustrating at first, but it meant the little tentative future plans I had been making would soon shift their way to the present. Despite too many needle proddings, and two weeks of a room with no window (I have a window room now), there are also frequent fetal heartbeat monitorings, and I feel more and more connected to this little one each day. I miss my husband and my dog as they try to make a home of the new apartment Ian moved us into while I was stuck here. We live with hypotheticals and get by with daily outings (me in a wheelchair) and wildlife sightings, discoveries of fun old games in the solarium “for bored mothers”, watching favorite shows to keep laughing. We imagine what this little child will be like, the things we will do as a family, the lessons we hope to teach, adventures we want to have. We look forward to so much learning, so much loving (and are amazed at how much of that is happening already).

My stomach stretches beyond its shape in quick ripples, I feel the poke of still forming limbs testing their breadth, and I dread and look forward to the day not too far away when the little being inside will come into this world as someone separate I can no longer know in quite this way.

this has been a wonderful and surprising year. i am hoping to find more time for blogging as spring and summer warm their way in, though come august a certain little one will probably be turning my world upside down in ways i can’t imagine. while i haven’t been blogging much, i’ve been collecting my inspirations (along with so many others) over on pinterest, storing ideas away. there are a lot of great designers doing beautiful things like this:

(click the image for a post full of awesome posters!)

& i also wanted to share a few posters and flyers i’ve had the good fortune to design for different local events, friends, &tc. i hope to create a proper portfolio for some of my design work this summer, but here are just a few glimpses—

event poster for a reading hosted by Heavy Feather Review (I also was a reader!) 

poster for an event at Denison (the artist’s favorite structure is the accordion, also a favorite of mine)

a little flyer for a friend’s new business: story creek studio

hello blog, like always it’s been a spell. today i am finding beautiful things like this and this and i am happy to be among these buzzing words that lead me to scrawling out a few of my own. i am trying to fill myself with more language, more poetry, more. let it all clang around and see what echoes back.

this is my 365th post. i’ve made a year’s worth over a much greater span of time. this was just a quick visit.

Being married to my husband has stretched me in many ways (most of them good), including altering my sleeping and waking habits (not always so good). I’ve always been a night person until I lived with him. When we first started dating, he tricked me into believing he stayed up like me, and I don’t know how it took so long to realize that was all just for me. Now that we’re past the I need to know everything about you all at once! late night conversations, I realize that he is quite happy to be in bed before ten, and that his sleep is a precious commodity he does not like to give up. I am also the girl at slumber parties (not that I’ve had much occasion to attend them since the age of 13…) who keeps talking to you for sometimes minutes at a time before she realizes you’ve fallen asleep, leaving one of those sleep-deprived musings hanging awkwardly, with no certainty of how much the listener took in before drifting off. But I always craved that pillow talk,  trail-offs and all, which means that sometimes, I will go to bed at ten just to have that sleepover feel once again, but then lie there restlessly in the dark after dear husband falls asleep at will (how do people do that?). Eventually, I will leave the room and fiddle around on the internet or watch something on TV. Night used to be my productive time, full of energy and creativity, but that requires the illusive second wind, which I tell you, can not be caught when you stop mid-evening for a false  bedtime. This restlessness, along with the help of a mocha provided by a generous coworker this morning, brings me here to the blog tonight.

Since sleepovers are for sharing, I’ll share this video with you of my recent poetry reading. I feel a little shy — it’s one thing to read for a small room, another to share it here. But I imagine I’m not the only one who doesn’t like the sound of my voice on tape, so I’ll do it anyway. We were asked to speak about influence/the muse/inspiration, which is where this video begins.

Also, my dear friend from grad school, Bess Winter asked me to design a banner for her website. In addition to the final result, I wanted to share some of the other ideas I had, just for fun. Be sure to visit her website for the final results!

Sleep well, friends.

Easing into my first week at a full-time office job, and pleasantly surprised at the way the mind works. How very productive it can be when we think we are fully occupied with non-creative tasks. One nice thing about an office job is the post-its that are always within reach for a quick list, a snippet of an idea. I don’t mind letting things simmer for awhile, and sometimes dormancy is okay too, leads to something fruitful later.

Evenings fill up with trips to the park to let Winnie run or, as is often the case, drop into a herding stance whenever a strange dog comes in to sight; the garden is almost unmanageable and our sunflowers are monstrous and heavy headed, and there are new things to try, new ways to eat a zucchini, and so much basil. And there are silly and fun distractions like four seasons of Mad Men now on Netflix, me wishing I could steal Joan’s wardrobe for my job (and maybe a bit of her spunk). Oh and large stacks of books from the lovely Columbus library — things like Frank O’Hara’s Lunch Poems and  Vincent Huidobro’s Manifestos Manifest. I sample, I write lines hoping to expand them later, and later has not come yet.

I used to hate summer for its thick warmth, my mom’s insistence that I put down that book and go enjoy the sunshine, the necessity of tucking the book underneath my shirt and finding a bit of shade or the branch of a tree to read it in. But now there is sun tea and a porch to drink it on, bricked sidewalks in German Village, city sounds like hovering helicopters, and the heat is nothing you can’t settle into.

So, I just looked at Nikki’s blog post from yesterday and what a super idea to feature a book! It’s also perfect because I (kind of) splurged this week on four books from a series called Documents of Contemporary Art.

It is a truly fabulous series. From the website:

“Each volume in the series is a definitive anthology on a particular theme, practice, or concern that is of central significance to contemporary visual culture. The artists and writers included in these books, like the guest editors who conceive them, represent the diversity of perspectives, generations, and voices defining art today.”

The four I bought were The Everyday, The Sublime, The Cinematic, and The Archive. But there are so many more I want like Beauty, Utopias, Appropriation, Sound, Painting, and Ruins and about a million others that seem like they would be awesome! Plus, they’re cheap and well designed.

You can check out the website here (which is also where I snagged the images from).

We’ll pretend again that Thursday morning is Wednesday night!? Sound good?

Hope everyone has had a good week!

So, let’s count Thursday midday as Wednesday – sound good? Sorry for the delay you guys!

Today I thought I would just post a sampling of blue, orange, yellow, fuzzy and not images from around the web. In anticipation of fall I’ve been feeling drawn towards these color combinations! My goodness – it seems like it was just a few weeks ago that I was celebrating the start of the summer!

Photos pulled from:

Photographer Brock Davis’ blog: http://www.itistheworldthatmadeyousmall.com

Scotch & Jazz @ Dusk: http://scotchandjazzatdusk.com/

and a Flickr discussion board about Polaroids (apple and flower).

Hope you enjoy and have a wonderful Thursday!

Hello all! It’s good to be back posting!

I spend a lot of time on the internet. I have my usual circuit of about five blogs that I look at everyday and am always looking for new additions to this group. So today, while poking around (and, I admit, trying to think of something to post), I found this site called Candy Coated Universe – the blog of designer Sara Seal. All of her designs are delightful but I totally fell in love with her inspiration section just as much as her original work.

You can visit her website here.

I got all the images from her blog. The first two are her designs and the last two are from her inspiration shots.

Happy Wednesday posting day!

P.S. Here are the five blogs I look at everyday, just in case you’re interested: Design*Sponge, Cup of Jo, Rifle, Jeremy and Kathleen, and Wikstenmade.

Hannah and I will be back to our posts on each others’ blogs next week, but in the meantime, I thought I’d share a recent project with you. A. Minetta Gould asked me to create a book for her chapbook Elephant: Poems for a benefit auction (elephant themed) in Boise. For a trunk-like feel we decided on an accordion. The backs use patterned paper with hand painted detailing. I liked the exposed chipboard for the covers, and made use of my new best friend Absorbent Ground along with watercolors for the cover design.

*Please don’t mind the busy surroundings. I am a lazy (and not very good) photographer.

Since I’ve been on such a watercolor kick lately, I had to share these images by Luci Everett (via Decor8). I hope you enjoy!

I’ve been working on a project for a friend, which I hope to share with you soon.

We are headed up to Michigan for our annual anniversary camping trip, and along the way we’re headed to the Battle Creek Balloon Festival with my family. There is nothing like surrounding yourself with the Great Lakes. Michigan is the best.

Happy Fourth, everyone!